The Time of Her Life
by whoa nellie
Summary: Admiral Janeway prepares to face her toughest adversaryherself.


Title: The Time of Her Life

Author: Whoa Nellie

Voyager

Rating: PG-13

Codes: J/C

Synopsis: Admiral Janeway is preparing to face her toughest adversary--herself.

Author's Notes: This story follows the events of A Stitch in Time, but it's not necessary to have read that first. These events assume all canon through the movie Nemesis and thus doesn't fit with any other Whoa Nellie universe.

Acknowledgements: Paramount owns all the marbles, we just have a lot more fun playing with them.

Feedback is always appreciated, posted or e-mail.

TIME OF HER LIFE

Janeway stretched luxuriantly, well-rested from a deep, dreamless sleep. It was almost a full minute before the events of the previous day--and night--jolted her completely awake. Her first thought went to the empty space in the bed beside her. The light was off in the bathroom and she couldn't hear anyone moving around in the quarters. Surely last night hadn't been a dream but waking up alone imbued those memories with a surreal quality. She decided that there were more important issues to deal with than when Chakotay had left, so she headed for the bathroom and a quick sonic shower.

Twenty minutes later, in full uniform and her hair pulled up in its usual bun she walked out into the main room to see Chakotay working at her desk. "Commander--I mean Captain . . . Chakotay, I thought you'd . . . "

"Left?" he finished her sentence with a look of mild censure on his face. He pushed his work aside and got up, heading toward the replicator. "There's fresh coffee, I was waiting for you to wake up so we could have breakfast and talk."

'About last night' was the unsaid part of what she knew he meant. She headed for the coffee pot idly wondering what he would think if she just drank straight from the pot. Pouring herself a cup, she wandered over to the viewport to sip the hot brew and buy herself some time. She drained the cup and re-filled it from the pot she'd carried over with her. Finally, she returned to the desk and sat down, pushing the food around on the plate. "I don't know what to say."

"The great Kathryn Janeway at a loss for words?" Chakotay echoed in mock incredulity. He gave her a reassuring smile and nod. "Don't say anything. I told you last night that I didn't need promises or commitments. I don't need to define every aspect of my life; some things just are what they are."

"What if I need a definition?" she asked softly.

He handed her a PADD, his hand freezing mid-air at her question. "Define it however you want, if you want to share that with me, fine; otherwise I'm willing to just let it be for now. Here's the most recent intelligence on the Borg situation. There's been no contact with Earth since we left the system yesterday; they haven't even been able to contact Utopia Planitia. Captain Riker is making contact with the Klingons to see if they can get a cloaked ship into the system to see what the situation is there, but that'll take time. We've set course for the Bassen Rift, I've laid out a route that should keep us out of direct confrontation with any Borg cubes for as long as possible. Borg sensors won't work any better than ours with all of that electromagnetic distortion there so we should be able to use it for cover for a good portion of the journey. I've got my senior staff and Seven working on a way to get us some sensor readings there but even if they can't come up with anything I still think it's our best bet."

Janeway nodded. "Agreed, speaking of Seven . . . I thought . . . I didn't . . . I noticed Axum on the Bridge when we beamed aboard."

"I thought you'd heard," he said. "With the Doctor leading the team de-Borging all of the former drones that were showing up, I assumed that either Seven or he had mentioned Axum's appearance."

She shook her head no. "I knew there were disconnected drones showing up shortly after our return and that the Doctor was overseeing the removal of their components and helping them reintegrate into our society. He's been so busy that I haven't spoken to him much over the past couple of months."

"Axum managed to get off the ship he was on and was picked up by a deep space vessel," Chakotay explained. "When the Doctor was notified about an incoming Borg drone asking for Annika Hansen, he contacted Seven. She wanted to be there with Axum to help him with the adjustment back to individuality."

"And pick up their relationship where they left off," Janeway finished.

He shrugged. "They had a long-term relationship in Unimatrix Zero, he was her first love and they have a lot in common. We ended things before I left for Vulcan. I contacted them and had them report directly to Voyager as soon as Admiral Ross issued my orders; I thought Seven and the Doctor could be helpful here. Axum isn't finished with his surgeries yet, but he was part of the Collective up until our final run-in with the last queen so he might know something useful. The Doctor can finish restoring Axum on the way."

She sat back in her chair and cocked her head. "Is that going to be a problem? I mean seeing Seven and Axum together."

Chakotay sat back in his chair, his jaw tightening perceptibly. "Do you really think I would have allowed last night to happen if I still had feelings for Seven? Do you think I have so little respect for you, Kathryn? No, I'm not pining for Seven; our lives moved on in different directions, nothing more and nothing less than that."

"I'm sorry, Chakotay," she said. "I'm still . . . just forget it."

"I hope you don't think I'm just going to forget about last night," he shared a tender smile with her as he picked up their breakfast dishes and recycled them. "I've called a senior staff meeting for 0800 hours; I'm assuming that you'd like to be included."

"Absolutely."

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Entering the briefing room, the first thing Janeway noticed was how few of the faces she recognized. A few of the crewmen on the bridge were from her former crew and she'd seen a couple of people in the corridors whom she remembered from their days in the Delta Quadrant; however, the majority of the crew were new faces. Of course that would only make sense, she chided herself as she took a seat beside her usual location. The crew would have been filled out with personnel available on Earth shortly after the orders were issued. Some personnel would already have been aboard preparing Voyager for her re-launch, but that was just a skeleton crew according to the last update she'd seen.

"All right," Chakotay settled himself at the head of the conference table and looked around at faces, some of which he'd only seen in personnel bios. "This is our first official senior staff meeting, I'm your commanding officer, Captain Chakotay, and this is Admiral Janeway. As most of you are already aware, the Borg have taken Romulus and are using cloaked vessels to make a move on the Federation by kidnapping the highest-ranking individuals within the government before any defense can be mounted. What you may not be aware of is the identity of the new Borg Queen. A future Admiral Janeway traveled back in time to help Voyager use a Borg transwarp hub to get back to the Alpha Quadrant 16 years sooner than her Voyager had arrived back in the Alpha Quadrant. We thought that she was killed along with the Borg Queen in that mission; however, it seems that the drones took her out of there before the explosion and made her their new queen. That's why our Admiral Janeway is along--to attempt to reason with the Borg Queen and, failing that, help us with strategy to outmaneuver her. Our only objective right now is to take out the Borg Queen, one way or another. You all know that Earth has been taken and there's been no communication from that sector since then. I sympathize with those of you who have family there as I do, but we have to stay focused on our mission. The Federation response to the Borg is being coordinated through Deep Space Nine by the Titan and the Bozeman. They'll do everything they can from their end but we have to accomplish our objective to give them a fighting chance. We'll be getting our feet under us on the fly so if anyone has concerns or questions, my ready room is always open; I'll be relying heavily on all of you to get this ship geared up for the fight ahead. Mr. LaForge, I understand this is your first posting as a First Officer, you were the Chief Engineer on the Enterprise under Captain Picard?"

"Yes, sir," Geordi nodded. "Captain Riker of the Titan was First Officer under Captain Picard as well, he's a good man. I do have some field command experience and I have more experience than I'd like with the Borg."

"Excellent," Chakotay said. "What's our status?"

Geordi passed him a PADD. "Full crew compliment although almost half of the crew, myself included, are in new positions for them or straight out of the Academy. All systems operating within accepted ranges. We're maintaining a conditional Yellow Alert, allowing for shift changes and breaks but keeping the ship and personnel battle-ready. We should reach the Bassen Rift in less than two days unless we run into a cube or two before then."

"Let's hope not,"Chakotay replied. "Seven?"

Seven brought up a display on the viewscreen. "Astrometrics has only detected a few uncloaked cubes within sensor range. We should assume that there are cloaked cubes in the vicinity."

"They won't attack us unless we interfere with their plans," Janeway said. "At least not until we become part of their plan."

"So do we have any options for sensors inside the Rift?" Chakotay asked.

Geordi spoke up first. "Yes, sir. In fact, the idea some of us have been working on would also allow us to detect cloaked ships outside of the Rift--within a limited range anyway. We once used a couple dozen starships to deploy a tachyon detection grid across the neutral zone border to detect cloaked vessels trying to enter Federation space. Obviously we don't have a couple dozen starships to use on this mission, but I remember reading about your efforts with a slip stream drive while you were in the Delta Quadrant. You used a shuttle as a sort of advance scout. We're thinking that we could deploy a couple of shuttles on remote control and engage a tachyon grid between us and them that would give us limited sensor information inside the Rift. That grid would also warn us of cloaked vessels in or out of the Rift. We'd only be able to travel at Warp 2 even outside of the Rift and the shuttles would be just a lightyear ahead of us--I'd guess six or seven trillion kilometers or so would be optimum distance."

"Axum and I are currently working on a way to increase that distance to 8.45 trillion kilometers," Seven interjected.

Chakotay looked around the table. "Engineering?"

"Reginald Barclay, sir; my f-f-f-first posting as a Chief Engineer," he forced the words out as calmly as he could.

"Good to see you again, Mr. Barclay," Chakotay greeted him. "It'll be nice to work with you on the same side of the galaxy for a change. What's your opinion of the plan that Mr. LaForge laid out?"

Barclay consulted a PADD sitting in front of him. "It'll work, sir. We'll need to make some modifications to the deflector and reconfigure the sensor arrays on the shuttles, but it'll work."

Chakotay nodded his approval. "How long before we could deploy the advance shuttles, Mr. Barclay?"

"A day at least," he said.

"All right, see to it," Chakotay said, "Good work, everyone; dismissed."

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Four hours later, Chakotay entered Sickbay to find Kathryn sitting in the Doctor's office talking with the EMH. He tapped on the doorframe to announce his presence before stepping inside. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything, but I was just going to grab some lunch and I thought you might like to join me. The computer said you were down here."

"Nothing at all, Captain," the EMH assured him quickly. "The Admiral and I were just catching up."

Janeway stood, smoothing her uniform jacket almost self-consciously. "Lunch sounds fine, Chakotay; your quarters or mine?"

"Yours," he replied firmly. "I'm hoping my new chief of security won't want to interrupt a meeting with 'Admiral Janeway' for anything short of a red alert."

"Problem?" she asked.

Chakotay sighed. "His last posting was as garrison commander of the security contingent at Starfleet Headquarters. LaForge and I have a wager on whether or not he can actually recite the entire Starfleet Uniform Code verbatim--I say he can."

"He can't be that bad," Janeway said.

"His security reports have footnotes," Chakotay informed her. "Tuvok never put footnotes in his reports."

Janeway laughed as they walked out of Sickbay. "That I have to see."

They walked along the corridors of Voyager, casually discussing ship's operations as they had so many times in the Delta Quadrant. The feelings of deja vu' on this mission were so strong at times that he had to remind himself of the stardate and his own rank. "When LaForge said that half the crew were in new positions or straight out of the Academy, he omitted one detail--all of the department heads fall into the 'in new positions' category. They're all qualified for the positions, this is just their first time in those positions. My chief of security, for example, has led a security garrison for the past three years, but he's never served aboard a starship before."

"Starfleet had to draw from people already on Earth and available for this mission," she pointed out. "It's not like we could have waited for former Voyager crewmembers to return from wherever they were to man the ship under the circumstances."

Chakotay motioned for her to precede him out of the turbolift when it stopped on her deck. "I know, the bridge just doesn't seem the same without Tom piloting and Harry at Ops. After one meeting with my new chief of security, I really miss Tuvok."

Janeway keyed the door access. "I'll tell him that in my next communique. Have you heard anything about Tom or Harry?"

"I haven't talked to B'Elanna since before I left for Vulcan, but I got a message from Harry just this morning; he's onboard the Titan," he said. Standing in front of the replicator, he looked back at her. "Any requests?"

"You mean you really want to eat lunch?" she asked with an arched eyebrow. "Here I thought it was just an excuse to . . . "

"Admiral Janeway," he admonished her. "For a captain who was resolute in not mixing ship's business with her own personal pleasure for seven years, I'm shocked at you."

Janeway shrugged. "R.H.I.P, rank hath its privileges. If I'm going to end up queen of the Borg in the future--"

"Damnit, Kathryn," Chakotay slammed his hand against the replicator control panel. "You are not the same woman; she spent sixteen years longer in the Delta Quadrant and carried a lifetime of memories that you will never have because of her interference."

She almost turned away from him, a habit she'd developed any time he started to get too close in the Delta Quadrant. This time she forced herself to meet his gaze. "She also carried a lifetime of regrets, Chakotay. I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I'd do in her place and sometimes it's hard to separate myself from her; other times I think about all of the regrets I already have in my life and I don't want any more."

His brown eyes softened at what he knew was a hard confession for her to voice. "I'm sorry, I just don't like hearing you compare yourself to her like that. She came back to spare you her past; she doesn't have to be your future."

Crossing the short distance to stand directly in front of him, she rested her hands against the broad expanse of his chest. She started to speak but changed her mind, instead moving her hands up to cup his face and pull it down to hers. Her lips found his, pressing fervently against them until her tongue slipped between them to thrust into the warm, moist cavern of his mouth. Urgency began building, coursing through her entire body; this was something her older self never had, this made her a different woman. Without breaking the kiss, she ripped off her own uniform jacket and then his.

"So, any idea as to how we're going to approach the queen when we get to Romulus?" he asked much later when his breathing had returned to almost normal. His hands slowly wandered across her back, eliciting a shiver from her.

Their bodies were still intertwined making the discussion easier in some ways and more difficult in others. "I don't think she's going to let us get to Romulus," Janeway answered. "We'll be stopped by a Borg cube just after we enter Romulan space and she'll communicate through that cube."

"If she knows we're coming, why not send a message or a cube to intercept us now?" he wondered aloud.

She nuzzled closer, unwilling to let him see her face. He'd know there was something she wasn't telling him. "She wants to make sure we're headed for her, that we're not heading somewhere else first. We might have a secret weapon or attempt to contact Species 8472 for help--she doesn't think so, but she'll be cautious and wait to see what we do before committing herself to anything."

"Do you think she'll negotiate?"

"It depends on her goal. I might be able to reach what's left of her humanity; but I think it's more likely that knowledge--specifically desire for knowledge will be her weakness."

Chakotay's fingers idly drew lazy circles on her back. "How so?"

"She knows that the Borg can't understand what they can't assimilate," she explained. "The Federation can offer her information that the Borg wouldn't be able to collect on ancient cultures or other types of phenomenon. She might be willing to accept a peace treaty of sorts if I appeal to her inner scientist."

Considering what she'd said, he offered an observation. "What about contacting 8472? We haven't heard from them so there's a good chance that the ones we met were able to call off the invasion. They were doing a pretty good job against the Borg before we stumbled in, they might be able--and hopefully willing--to help us now."

"We shared the information on the weapon used to fight 8472 with the Borg," Janeway said, the actions of his fingers making it more and more difficult to concentrate. "It's likely that the Borg still retain that knowledge and my other self wouldn't hesitate to use it if she even thought we'd bring them into the fight. We can keep that plan in reserve and send a message into fluidic space if the situation gets desperate."

"As opposed to what the situation is now?"

She pulled back to share a rueful grin with him. "I'd like to get a better read on her goal. I'll try to reach any remnant of humanity that might still be there, but I'm not going to waste a lot of time on that. I think our best bet for a peaceful solution is convincing her that it's in her best interest to withdraw from the Alpha Quadrant and be a good neighbor. Either way, there's only so much I can anticipate until I've actually spoken to her."

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The next morning, Geordi made some last minute adjustments from the science station console on the bridge before hitting the comm system. "Captain, we're ready to launch the shuttles. We'll need to drop out of warp."

In a moment, Chakotay emerged from his ready room and took his seat. "All stop," he ordered. "Launch shuttles and initiate tachyon grid. Let's make sure we can maintain a stable field before we get to the Rift; I want as few surprises as possible."

Geordi hit his combadge, "All right, Reg, clear the shuttle bay; we're good to go up here."

"Understood," Barclay replied. "I'll be monitoring from Engineering, Barclay out."

Geordi keyed several commands into his workstation. "Auto-pilots engaged, launch sequence initiated for shuttle one. Shuttle one launched, launch sequence initiated for shuttle two."

Chakotay motioned toward the ops station. "Onscreen." The main viewer flickered immediately and he watched first one shuttle then the other emerge from Voyager and move toward their positions. There was no visible change when the tachyon grid was activated so he accessed the sensor information from the panel on the arm of the command chair.

"Everything looks good from here," Geordi said.

"Go to full impulse," Chakotay told the helmsman.

"Shuttles maintaining position, grid is stable," Geordi reported. "Let's try Warp One."

Chakotay nodded at the helmsman and activated the communication system. "Seven?"

"I am compensating for the interference from our warp field," she replied. "It is working, we will be able to detect any cloaked vessels less than one light year from Voyager."

The communication system beeped and he keyed the console. "Go ahead."

"Barclay here, sir. The field is stable for now but when we enter the Rift we'll probably have to do some recalibrations to account for the electromagnetic interference. I'd suggest dropping out of warp and entering the Rift at impulse."

"Understood, Bridge out," Chakotay acknowledged. "At least we're not going into this completely blind."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The EMH helped Janeway sit up on the biobed. "All done, that should be it."

Tugging at her uniform jacket, she swung her legs off the bed. As she did, she noticed Axum resting on a nearby biobed. "Is he all right?"

"Fine," the Doctor assured her. "He's been putting off further surgeries so he'd be available to help Seven with calculations on this mission, but with the tachyon field deployed I took the opportunity to take care of a few things. He'll be out for a while longer yet."

"Give him my best when he wakes up," she requested.

Just then Chakotay entered Sickbay and looked around, immediately spotting them. "I always seem to find you down here. Lunch?"

Janeway hopped down from the biobed and adjusted her uniform. "The Doctor was just taking care of a muscle I seem to have pulled somehow."

"Does that mean you're not up to having lunch with me?" Chakotay asked, his cheeks burning but determined to act nonchalant in front of the EMH.

"I'm all fixed," she gave a quick glance toward the Doctor before flashing a grin at Chakotay. "How far from the Rift are we?"

"We'll be arriving sometime tomorrow morning," he replied.

The EMH held up a PADD and gestured. "Admiral, you are as good as new, but I have other patients and work to tend to, so go on and enjoy your lunch."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Janeway didn't even bother to ring the doorchime to the ready room, just barging in and slamming the PADD in her hand on the desk. "What is this?"

He knew it was a tactical error when he did it. Leaving the PADD with orders for her to find after he'd left in the early morning hours was not the right way to handle it; but he'd thought of it after she'd fallen asleep--watching her sleep in fact--and hadn't wanted to wake her. "Orders for you to report to Sickbay for a subdermal transponder."

"Chakotay--"

"Captain Chakotay," he corrected her quickly. This was one discussion he couldn't afford to have on a personal level. Keeping it on a professional basis might make it easier. "This is still my ship and my mission, Admiral. Assuming you can get her to agree to a meeting, we're not traveling all this way to talk via subspace. That's one little point you keep neglecting to bring up--how you plan to conduct this negotiation. You've talked about strategies and discussion points but never the actual details of the meeting itself. I don't like it, but at some point you'll probably have to leave Voyager for these talks and if you do I want a way of locking onto you quickly and beaming you back."

Janeway softened her tone. "You couldn't beam me through Borg shields even with a transponder signal to lock onto."

"I'll cross that bridge if and when I get there," he said. "Kathryn, please. This is hard for me, even thinking about you leaving Voyager to go meet with that woman gives me nightmares but there's too much at stake to rule anything out right now. I'm just trying to--"

Whatever else he was going to say was interrupted by the comm system. "Bridge to Captain Chakotay."

"Go ahead."

"Sir, we're approaching the Rift and Astrometrics is reporting a transwarp signature on long-range sensors."

Chakotay was up and on his way toward the door. "Acknowledged."

LaForge vacated the command chair at the captain's appearance, taking up his own station. "The shuttles are just five light-years from the Rift, we should drop out of warp here and enter on impulse. The Borg vessel is uncloaked and just came into sensor range. It's on an intercept course with us, its course will intersect ours at a point inside the Rift unless it changes course before then."

Chakotay studied the viewscreen and the sensor readout from the computer panel in the arm of his chair. "Tactical, prepare a Class 1 probe. We'll leave it behind to monitor the Borg vessel while we enter the Rift. Keep it on a tether, when we get to the maximum range of control, we'll pull it in and download the sensor data to see what the cube is up to."

"Probe is ready to launch," the security chief announced.

Geordi looked back to the Ops officer. "Monitor that tractor beam closely; with all of the electromagnetic interference we don't want to lose our grip on it."

"Aye, sir."

Chakotay nodded toward LaForge, noticing belatedly that Janeway had left the Bridge. "Launch the probe and move us into the Rift, full impulse."

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She was waiting for the beep of the computer console. As soon as they'd detected the transwarp signature, she had returned to her quarters to wait for the communication that she knew was imminent. The Bassen Rift was the perfect place from both of their perspectives, the distortions that affected sensors would provide enough confusion and chaos to cover most of their activities. Voyager wouldn't be allowed to enter Romulan space, they'd have their first encounter right here in the Rift. Janeway opened the channel, her stomach recoiling in disgust at the sight of Borg Queen Janeway on the monitor. "Long time no see," she commented.

"I see we haven't lost our sense of humor yet," the Borg Queen's voice was distorted but still sounded eerily like her own. "I've been expecting you."

"We need to talk," Janeway said. "This is all wrong; this isn't what you came back for. We can fix this if you'll help."

"This is better," Borg Queen Janeway replied. "The unity, the harmony, everyone working as one; the Federation will be stronger than ever and more united than it's ever been. This is a better way."

"You don't expect me to believe that," Janeway retorted. "You know me better than that."

For an instant, the Borg Queen looked more like the elderly Admiral Janeway from the future. "I do know us better than that. I knew you'd come and I knew you'd try to fight. The tachyon field was ingenuous; B'Elanna outdid herself with that idea--or was that Harry's idea? Imagine what we could accomplish with so many minds linked as one. It's inevitable, you can't prevent it."

Janeway sat back, studying the image on the viewscreen. "So why are you calling? It's not our style to gloat like this; just get it over with unless . . . "

"What?"

"You don't really want this, you're trapped inside all of that technology screaming to get out and you want us to beat you as we've beaten the Borg so many times before," Janeway suggested.

Borg Queen Janeway gave a grotesque laugh. "No."

"We can offer you knowledge," Janeway said quickly. "Knowledge that can't be assimilated, we can explore and learn and upload it to your database."

"A partnership?" the Borg Queen asked incredulously. "You really think you're equal to the Borg?"

"I think I'm equal to you," Janeway retorted. "I am you, a younger and stronger version of you. I'm not some broken-down, old woman with a lifetime of regrets on her conscience. If we can't come to an agreement, I will have no choice but to destroy you."

Borg Queen Janeway started to answer and then paused. "Let's discuss this further," she suggested. "A face-to-face negotiation, just like when we negotiated with the Borg in their war against Species 8472--you come aboard one of my cubes and we'll talk."

"Why not talk now, like this?" Janeway asked.

"I'm not interested in Voyager just yet," she answered. "I know that Seven is onboard so it's easy to presume that Chakotay is as well. I went to a great deal of trouble to give them more time together and a small part of me regrets that I can't give them the lifetime together I intended to, but I don't need them right now. If you leave Voyager and continue on in one of my cubes, the crew of Voyager will be safe for the time being; you have my word. We can have our talk and they can enjoy individuality for a little while longer."

"And how do I know you won't just assimilate me the moment I arrive on that cube?"

Borg Queen Janeway smiled. "Always so suspicious. Two Janeways aren't necessarily better than one; I don't need you in my Collective to accomplish my plan. I assure you that you will not be assimilated just yet. You want to talk face-to-face with me, offer me a peace treaty or some deal to convince me to leave the Federation alone. Here's your chance to negotiate, your opportunity to save the lives of the crew of Voyager and billions of others across the known galaxy thus achieving another successful victory over the Borg. You believe you can reach me so what do you have to lose other than the lives of all of those men and women on Voyager right now? You can give Chakotay and Seven precious days--maybe even weeks--of happiness together while we talk."

A shiver went down her spine at the pure evil tone of her Borg self. There was no passion, no compassion but she was playing on Janeway's feeling of responsibility for the lives of her crew with the skill of a maestro. Chakotay's words rang in her ears. 'If you have nothing to lose, then you have nothing to fight for either. What you call a complication, some people might call motivation.' Chakotay did turn out to be her secret weapon after all. Her Borg self didn't know about Axum's return or that Chakotay and she had become intimate. "Agreed, but I'll need to make some arrangements. Chakotay won't like this, no matter what it might mean for him personally. I'll have to make sure that Voyager can't stop me. Have your cube stay ready and watch for the captain's yacht. Once I'm outside of the tachyon grid, they won't be able to get a transporter lock on me."

"I'll be waiting for you."

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A warning tone sounded from the science station monitoring the tachyon grid. "Borg vessel directly ahead," LaForge announced.

"All stop," Chakotay ordered. "Deploy ablative armor. Are they attempting communication?"

The security chief responded immediately. "No, sir. They're just sitting there, like they've been waiting for us. Ablative armor engaged."

"We're detecting an unauthorized shuttle launch," the ensign at ops reported. "It's the Aeroshuttle, one life sign detected--Admiral Janeway."

"Hail her," Chakotay ordered, already knowing that it was a lost cause to try to get her to turn around. He should have seen this coming, not that there was much he could have done to stop it.

Geordi was monitoring from the science station. "Once she clears the tachyon grid, communication will be difficult."

The security officer spoke up. "The Borg cube has moved out of the tachyon grid."

"Admiral Janeway's replying," the ensign said, transferring the incoming communication to the viewscreen.

Janeway looked into the viewer with an expression of stoic determination. "I know what you're going to say, Captain, but this is my mission, my responsibility."

"Admiral, this is not part of the mission," Chakotay objected. "We're supposed to attempt a negotiation with the Queen, not some random cube. We have no way to get you out of there if something goes wrong. This isn't the place or the time--"

"I appreciate your concern, Captain Chakotay, and I know the risks but she is me. It's safer for everyone this way; just keep Voyager here in the Rift until I get back. I've already spoken to her via subspace and she's promised to leave Voyager alone for the time being as long as you don't try to interfere. Knowing what I would do if I were you, I took the liberty of taking the tractor beams offline before I launched. I'm sorry, Chakotay, but it has to be this way."

"Kathryn--" he started to plead, breaking off to swear under his breath as the transmission cut off and the shuttle left the tachyon grid, immediately lost among the electromagnetic distortions. A quick system check confirmed the status of the tractor beam and a knot formed in the pit of his stomach at the thought that those were the last words she'd ever say to him. "Keep hailing her, try to get her back."

Geordi nodded to Seven and the two of them began repositioning the shuttles to reacquire the Aeroshuttle on sensors. "We can override the Admiral's control of the shuttle from here and drop the shields to beam her off once we shift the grid to get her back inside," he told Chakotay.

"Do it," Chakotay ordered. She'd yell but at least she'd be there to yell.

Seven entered some commands on the console she was working at. "We almost have her shuttle back in the grid."

Chakotay hit the comm button. "Transporter Room 1, get a transporter lock on Admiral Janeway's transponder and prepare to beam her back as soon as her shields come down. Mr. LaForge, status?"

"She changed the command codes, it'll take me a minute," he replied.

That was a minute more than they had--the Borg cube fired on the shuttle, completely destroying it before the bridge crew could react. The stunned silence felt like an eternity but lasted only a second. "Kathryn," Chakotay gasped. "Bridge to Transporter Room 1, did you get her?"

"No, sir."

"Target the Borg vessel," Chakotay ordered. "They must have beamed her out of the shuttle, target phasers and photon torpedoes on their shield generators. Ops, scan for human lifesigns."

Seven turned toward him. "Sensors did not detect a trans--"

Geordi cut her off. "Seven, remodulate that tachyon field, the explosion caused fluctuations in the grid. If that cube cloaks we'll be fighting blind."

Voyager rocked from weapons fire. "Shields down to 83," Ops reported.

"Tactical?" Chakotay barked.

"Direct hits," the security chief reported. "No discernible damage."

Chakotay studied the viewscreen. "Helm, evasive maneuvers, sequence Gamma 3. Tactical, continuous phaser fire and make sure the resonance frequencies are fluctuating. We can't let them break off until we've located Admiral Janeway and got her back."

Conduits were overloading and exploding in a shower of sparks. Consoles were flashing and smoking from overloaded circuits. The ship was taking a massive beating, but Chakotay stayed focused on that Borg cube. They hadn't shown any sign of trying to leave, the cube had held position since firing on the shuttle.

"A cloaked vessel just entered the tachyon field," Seven reported. "Bearing--"

"Hold fire," Chakotay ordered as a Klingon bird of prey de-cloaked near the Borg cube and began firing toward the cube. It didn't look like weapons fire and it seemed to stick to the Borg shields.

Geordi frowned at the sensor display. "They're firing a stream of warp plasma."

The reason for the unusual tactic was quickly evident when the Klingon ship ignited the warp plasma with a torpedo. The bright flare hid both vessels from view for a split second and when the glare faded, the Klingon ship was firing disruptors at the cube, direct hits with every shot sending debris hurtling away from the cube.

"Borg shields are down," Ops reported. "The ignited plasma must have caused an overload in their shield generator."

"It won't last long," LaForge commented.

Chakotay gestured toward Tactical. "Hit them with everything we've got. Seven, have you got Admiral Janeway?"

"There is no sign of Admiral Janeway or the Borg Queen onboard that cube," Seven stated. "She was not transported off the shuttle prior to the explosion."

"Borg vessel is breaking off contact," the security chief reported. "They're gone."

"The Klingon ship is hailing," Ops said.

Chakotay shook himself back to the task at hand, there would be time for grief later. "Onscreen."

The viewscreen image of the Rift was replaced with some familiar faces for many of the Bridge crew. Tom Paris was holding his infant daughter Miral and standing beside a slightly disheveled-looking B'Elanna and Worf. "Chakotay," Tom greeted him. "You looked like you were having a little trouble."

"Tom, B'Elanna," Chakotay replied. "What are you doing out here?"

B'Elanna took Miral from Tom before she answered. "We were on Quo'nos visiting my mother's family when we heard about the Borg. The Klingon High Council is sending cloaked ships to gather information and when Harry reached Tom to let him know about Voyager's mission, we got this ship and came to lend you a hand. Where's Janeway, Harry said she was with you?"

His voice betrayed no emotion at all. "She was on the shuttle that the cube destroyed just before you got here. She's dead."

"Captain," LaForge spoke up. "We've got repair crews working on the worst of the damage, but we'll need at least a few days; recommend we hold position here until repairs are completed."

"Agreed," Chakotay nodded. "B'Elanna, we'd like to thank the captain and crew of your ship for their assistance."

"It was our pleasure," Worf stepped forward. "Geordi, it is good to see you."

"Good to see you, too, Worf," he replied. He stepped closer to Chakotay and spoke softly. "Captain, with your permission, we could give the Klingons the specs for tachyon field and with their ship, we could extend the grid in here. They could monitor it from there, freeing up manpower to help with repairs here."

"Good idea, Mr. LaForge," Chakotay said. "Take care of it. I'll be in my ready room."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He couldn't say how long he sat in the darkened ready room just staring out at the myriad of swirling energy streams inside the Rift. What were they going to do now? What was he going to do now? Everything happened so fast that it was still hard to believe she was gone and with her their best chance of a non-violent solution was gone. It was looking more and more like an all-out war with the Borg was inevitable. His computer beeped insistently with an incoming message until he finally activated the channel. "What?"

The EMH appeared on the computer monitor. "Captain, I've spoken to Commander LaForge and he informs me that the ship is secure for the time being."

"What about wounded?" Chakotay asked.

"Under control, a couple of serious injuries but no fatalities," he answered. "I think you should report to the captain's quarters--"

"No!" he responded angrily.

The EMH straightened up and adopted his most imposing look. "I didn't want to do this, but Captain Chakotay, as Chief Medical Officer of the starship Voyager, I am temporarily relieving you of duty and ordering you to report to the captain's quarters until 0700 tomorrow unless we're attacked before then."

"I could just deactivate your program," Chakotay pointed out.

"I have wounded here," the Doctor argued. "I may have more of a medical staff than I did in the Delta Quadrant, but I do have a lot of wounded and a couple of seriously injured that require my expertise. You need to go to the captain's quarters now. I will check with the computer in ten minutes and if you are anywhere else on this ship, I'll just have you transported there. Sickbay out."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Reluctantly, Chakotay entered the captain's quarters numb from the events of the day. This was the last place on the ship he wanted to be right now. He could still feel her presence, smell the light scent of her perfume; it was hard to believe that she was gone. He'd only had her-- really had her in his life for a few days, but it felt like a lifetime had been lost in that explosion. He blinked and shook his head trying to clear the vision standing in the doorway to the bedroom.

"I'm not a ghost," Janeway remarked, "at least not yet."

"Kathryn?"

Janeway crossed the room and tentatively cupped his face in her hands. "I'm sorry, Chakotay."

Too many thoughts and emotions were roiling through him to say anything and he was half-afraid that he was dreaming. Her hands felt so real as they caressed the broad expanse of his chest, sliding around to hold him close to her. The warmth of her breath wafted across the skin of his throat when she started nuzzling him just below his jaw. There were things that needed his attention and a mission to finish but all he wanted was a few more minutes with her. Her inviting lips parted as if to say more and he quickly covered her mouth with his, silencing her with a deep, demanding kiss; reality could wait a while longer. He couldn't bring himself to open his eyes, afraid that she'd be gone.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before," she whispered to him; "but she had to believe that I was in that shuttle and she knows you as well as I do--almost anyway. She'd know if you were acting."

"You're really here?" he rasped hoarsely. "This isn't a dream?"

"I'm here and this is very real. I suspected that she'd want to get rid of me. I know her almost as well as she knows herself; she'd see me as the only real threat to her stability. When she extended the invitation for me to transport over to her cube to talk, I knew it was a trap. I had talked with the Doctor a couple of days ago, I wanted a back-up plan in place in the event that she sent drones to target me. He created a clone of me from my DNA--it wasn't alive, just a physical shell with my genetic markers. Using artificial lungs and heart along with a neural processor, sensors could be tricked into thinking that it was a living, breathing me. He altered my DNA enough to change how I showed up on sensors so that the pseudo-clone of me would be the only 'Kathryn Janeway' in sensor range."

He still wasn't entirely sure what to believe. "The Doctor knew about it? That's why he relieved me of duty and insisted on my coming here."

"I swore him to secrecy," she said, "at least until we were away from the cubes. I took the captain's yacht because I'd already set everything up in there. My clone was onboard and just needed a signal from the Doctor to be activated. I programmed the auto-pilot and rigged the warp core to the sensors. When the sensors detected a tractor beam, the anti-matter containment would be disabled--unnecessary as it turned out."

He sighed, his hands stroking and caressing her as if to reassure himself that she was really there.

She nuzzled his warm, copper skin in tacit sympathy. "I wish there'd been another way, I just couldn't risk her destroying Voyager to get to me. She had to believe it, which meant that all of you had to believe that I had just blown up."

"You were right," Chakotay whispered.

"I'm glad you see things my way."

"No," he looked down into her face. "Not about this, although it was a good plan as much as I hate to admit it; I mean you were right not allowing anything to happen between us back in the Delta Quadrant. Out there today, I would have risked this entire ship to protect you and I froze for a second on the bridge when your shuttle exploded. I didn't really understand before but I do now and I was wrong to even push you on the issue; you were right."

"I see."

He forced her attention back to him. "No, you don't. I'm not willing to give you up now that I've got you. You were right that it complicates things and you were right to keep me at arm's length, but your future self is rewriting more than enough history at the moment. We can deal with this here and now. This relationship doesn't compromise your authority on this ship and you won't let it compromise our mission so there's no reason that we can't take comfort in what we have here for as long as we have it."

All of the strain, uncertainty and emotion of the day's events drained out of her with his words.

"You do realize," Chakotay murmured to her, "that now you're our secret weapon."

FINIS


End file.
